I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Let's get the cat blown out
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
