After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
