there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
