question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
