The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize