guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
you are never too drunk for berry picking
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
