Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
my liver is dry heaving
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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