even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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