Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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