Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
