Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
