So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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