I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
