Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
