So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
