where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
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Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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