In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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