The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Panties = found
Randomize
