Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
