you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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