Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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