he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Why is there bacon in the couch?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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