i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
