I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
