If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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