i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
