Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
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all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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