I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize