yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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