Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
So vagazzling was a success
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
