Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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