so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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