Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Come on in and take your pants off
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