you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
