Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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