I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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