He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
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I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
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I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
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