It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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