All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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