none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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