Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
