I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
