All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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