so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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