I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
He has the fingertips of a God
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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