drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
