fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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