Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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