did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
