u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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