i wish there were pregnant emoticons
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
