I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
