he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
