Where are you?
In a non slutty way
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
