She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
