I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
