So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
