Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
