I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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