there's paper in my vomit.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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