I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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