Dual....:-)
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
