She said her name was "party"
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
