Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
